I have a birthday coming up soon, pushing me deeper into my 50’s. Holy crap – how did that happen???
For so many years I have been focused on pleasing others and the word NO had seeped out of my vocabulary. Even if I did say NO, the slightest amount of pressure and it would turn into a YES.
I became conditioned to keep everyone else happy. A people pleaser through and through but what about me (it isn’t fair – couldn’t help throwing that in)?
I remember attending a meeting of a group I had just joined and walking out as the Secretary. Then there was the local hockey club – first a team manager, then fundraising co-ordinator and finally Secretary for 4 years taking on anything and everything that no one else wanted to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my time in those gigs but I had to learn to sit on my hands. It was like my right hand had a mind of its own and it would be up before I knew it, putting me up for something regardless of whether I really wanted to do it or not.
Same at work, I would help everybody else out with whatever they wanted but the consequence was that my work suffered, putting me under unnecessary pressure. I always thought that multi-tasking was a wonderful skill to have. I’ve come to realise that not concentrating on a set task and completing it, with constant stopping and starting is not an efficient way to work at all.
My new business allows me the peace and quiet I crave to get things done. No one to interrupt me apart from a fur baby wanting a pat or my body telling me to “get up and move”. Emails checked at set points during the day, phone calls returned at certain times, social media turned off and the opportunity to concentrate abounds.
Have I actually done any of these things?? No, I haven't, but starting tomorrow, that is the plan and I will be making a concerted effort to make it happen. To get this business ticking along and find my true self I need to change NOW.
100% of me for each and every client for their allotted time.
How about you? Any other people-pleasers out there??? Are you brave enough to "come on down"?